Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life

What are you grateful for today?

If you take a look around, you will rarely see people smiling or expressing happiness. Unless you’re with a group of kids, I’m sure the number of unhappy people far outweigh the happy.

Why is that? Where did we go wrong? Why are there so many unhappy people?

The reason is very simple, we always look for a reason to be happy and also associate happiness with everything we want, like money, health, popularity etc. We also imagine a happy life as an idyllic situation, where everything is perfect as we wanted.

Unfortunately, there is always something that it isn’t as we wanted and that is what stops us from being happy. No matter how hard we to try to achieve, the moments of happiness flies away and makes us feel really frustrated and down.

Again we give ourselves some goals, thinking when we would have achieved them we would have been happy but alas! It is just a temporary happiness, in fact, we keep confusing joy and pleasure with happiness. Pleasure is normally temporary, happiness lasts.

We are trapped in the vicious cycle of waiting to be happy and when we have achieved what we wanted we are happy just for a while and then back to square one.

You can imagine, how frustrating it is.

"Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn't stop to enjoy it." -- William Feather

Why are we unhappy?

Now it’s time to understand the reasons for our unhappiness.

Stop reading for a moment and think of the main reason why you are not happy.

Anyone of us can have various different reasons, we are all unique, and the world probably would be boring if we were all the same.

It’s important to understand the reasons why we are not happy and question them because sometimes we don’t feel good enough or we feel not to be at par with the standards created by our society, so in this case, they are not our reasons. We have in our mind how things should be, a sense of perfection which has been created over the years by absorbing it from people around us, from the media, from our society etc. So if we don’t reach these standards that we have in our mind, then we think we are not good enough and so we are not happy. That’s why is very important to learn to question our reasons and our beliefs.

Happiness is a choice!

We need to make a decision to live a happy life and we need to change our attitudes accordingly. Happiness is also a mental state and since we can create our mental state we can create our happiness. We also have some tools to work with to keep staying in a happy frame of mind, like gratitude, living the present which is the only moment we are alive and we can be happy.

It all might seem like hard work, but it’s not, it’s all about how to creating a habit, so we can have a pleasant journey and see the magic start.

What is Gratitude?

Gratitude is the appreciation of what is valuable and meaningful to oneself; it is a general state of thankfulness and/or appreciation.

Gratitude is a way for people to appreciate what they have instead of always reaching for something new in the hopes it will make them happier, or thinking they can't feel satisfied until every physical and material need is met. Gratitude helps people refocus on what they have instead of what they lack. And, although it may feel contrived at first, this mental state grows stronger with use and practice. 

I don't have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness - it's right in front of me if I'm paying attention and practicing gratitude. Brene Brown

Why practice Gratitude

The majority of empirical studies indicate that there is an association between gratitude and a sense of overall well-being. However, there are several studies that indicate potential nuances in the relationship between gratitude and well-being as well as studies with negative findings. In terms of assessing gratitude, numerous assessment measures are available. 

From a clinical perspective, there are suggested therapeutic exercises and techniques to enhance gratitude, and they appear relatively simple and easy to integrate into psychotherapy practice. However, the therapeutic efficacy of these techniques remains largely unknown. Only future research will clarify the many questions around assessment, potential benefits, and enhancement of gratitude.

One of the things these studies show is that practicing gratitude can increase happiness levels by around 25%. This is significant, among other things, because just as there’s a certain weight that feels natural to your body and which your body strives to maintain, your basic level of happiness is set at a predetermined point. If something bad happens to you during the day, your happiness can drop momentarily, but then it returns to its natural set-point. Likewise, if something positive happens to you, your level of happiness rises, and then it returns once again to your “happiness set-point”. 

A practice of gratitude raises your “happiness set-point” so you can remain at a higher level of happiness regardless of outside circumstances.

Gratitude and Happiness

People tend to take for granted the good that is already present in their lives. One of the most powerful ways to understand gratitude is to imagine losing some of the things that you take for granted, such as your home, your ability to see or hear, your ability to walk, or anything that currently gives you comfort. Then imagine getting each of these things back, one by one, and consider how grateful you would be for each and every one. In addition, you need to start finding joy in the small things instead of holding out for big achievements—such as getting the promotion, having a comfortable nest egg saved up, getting married, having the baby, and so on–before allowing yourself to feel gratitude and joy.

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough." -- Oprah Winfrey

Another way to use giving thanks to appreciate life more fully is to use gratitude to help you put things in their proper perspective. When things don’t go your way, remember that every difficulty carries within it the seeds of an equal or greater benefit. In the face of adversity ask yourself: “What’s good about this?”, “What can I learn from this?”, and “How can I benefit from this?”

Once you become oriented toward looking for things to be grateful for, you will find that you begin to appreciate simple pleasures and things that you previously took for granted. Gratitude should not be just a reaction to getting what you want, but an all-the-time gratitude, the kind where you notice the little things and where you constantly look for the good even in unpleasant situations. Today, start bringing gratitude to your experiences, instead of waiting for a positive experience in order to feel grateful; in this way, you’ll be on your way toward becoming a master of gratitude.

Affirmation and Source of goodness

Gratitude has two components.

First, it’s an affirmation of goodness. We affirm that there are good thing in the world, gifts and benefits we’ve received. This doesn’t mean that life is perfect; it doesn’t ignore complaints, burdens, and hassles. But when we look at life as a whole, gratitude encourages us to identify some amount of goodness in our life.

The second part of gratitude is figuring out where that goodness comes from. We recognize the sources of this goodness as being outside of ourselves. It didn’t stem from anything we necessarily did ourselves in which we might take pride. We can appreciate positive traits in ourselves, but I think true gratitude involves a humble dependence on others: We acknowledge that other people—or even higher powers, if you’re of a spiritual mind-set, gave us many gifts, big and small, to help us achieve the goodness in our lives.

Gratitude and law of attraction

One way to leverage the law of attraction and attract more of what you want in life is to be grateful for what you already have, even if it is not enough. We spend so much of our time and energy focusing on what we don’t have that we often neglect to appreciate what we do have. Instead of focusing on the one relationship you don’t have, focus and be grateful for all the wonderful friends and family you do have. Instead of focusing on your debts, focus on the richness of your life, the beauty of the sunset, the pure joy of tickling your youngest child, the delicious food on your table…

To remind yourself of all the wonderful things you have, at the end of each day take a few minutes to write down everything that you are grateful for in a diary or journal. It could be your health, a loving spouse, a beautiful home or a cup of hot cocoa. No matter how rough a day, there is always something or someone to be grateful for—a partner to come home to who will listen to you, a dog that adores you, a warm bed to sleep in or just that you survived that day with your limbs still intact.

“None is more impoverished than the one who has no gratitude. Gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves, and spend without fear of bankruptcy.” -- Fred De Witt Van Amburgh

Focusing on things you're grateful for helps attract even more things to be grateful for. True enough! But that's not the only reason - and in fact, it's definitely not the most powerful reason.

More important than your focus is the ENERGETIC SIGNAL you are emitting when you focus on gratitude!

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Melody Beattie

The Law of Attraction works according to your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and expectations, right? When you focus on gratitude, you are thinking, feeling, believing in and expecting: Happiness. Abundance. Security. Blessings. Contentment. Generally, you are telling the universe that all is right in your world!

Give thanks for the feet and legs that carry you through your days, for the air rushing into your lungs, for the eyes that enable you to gaze in wonder at the world around you - and so much more! Express sincere gratitude for every, tiny, little thing you see, hear, feel, do or experience throughout the entire day. I'm sure you can imagine, that can be a lot to be grateful for!

As the Bible records, “When he saw he was healed, he came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan” (v. 15-16).

How to express gratitude?

Here are five potent ways to cultivate gratitude on a regular basis.

Express gratitude and appreciate in person. If there is someone who had a special impact in your life by his action, words or influence, make sure you appreciate the goodwill gesture of the person instantly with a big smile on your face. Or else, you may call him up and thank him expressing your thankfulness. Make it a practice and you will experience the magic of gratitude instantly.

Write a thank-you note. You can make yourself happier and nurture your relationship with another person by writing a thank-you note or letter/email expressing your gratitude and appreciation of that person's impact on your life. Send it, or better yet, deliver and read it in person if possible. Make a habit of sending at least one gratitude letter/ email a month. Once in a while, write one to yourself.

Thank someone mentally. I there is no time to write, which is a rare instance, it may help just to think about someone who has done something nice for you, and mentally thank the individual. Visualize you are thanking that person and he is happily accepting your gratitude.

Write a gratitude journal. Make it a habit to write down five gifts of gratitude you've received each day. If you feel that five reasons to be happy for is difficult to find, you must think of small instances which you might have overlooked or not paid attention towards them.

Count your blessings. Pick a time every week to sit down and write about your blessings — reflecting on what went right or what you are grateful for. Sometimes it helps to pick a number — such as three to five things — that you will identify each week. As you write, be specific and think about the sensations you felt when something good happened to you.

"Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude. Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness. Thankfulness may consist merely of words. Gratitude is shown in acts." Henri Frederic Amiel